Change

I had planned to write a lot of 'good' things that've happened..you know...at least to give the impression that I was happy. heh...thats gone. No hope for that.. I think now...the deffinition of 'happy things' for me will change. I'll be changing now.. even in the slightest. Its just the way it'll be..I feel it already and ...I've started seeing them, they've come sooner than I thought. I knew they would.. just not so soon. but...I think the hardest thing is to control myself. my choices are, control myself, and not let instincts interfere, or get hurt trying to stop them, then failing. Either way, I lose, just one way hurts worse than the other. Shit, I've got to find somewhere else to be, its gonna be an interesting few days, weeks, or months, never can tell with them. (and of course you have to know me well to know what 'interesting' means.)