Houdini

It's the 81st anniversary of the death of Harry Houdini... Oct. 31st, O7

Wonderful guy, very inspiring..

I am tempted to hold the traditional locks séance that his wife started after his death....y'know, just for honor.

"I think that in a year I may retire. I cannot take my money with me when I die and I wish to enjoy it, with my family, while I live. I should prefer living in Germany to any other country, though I am an American, and am loyal to my country" -- Harry Houdini

"Only one man ever betrayed my confidence, and that only in a minor matter."-- Harry Houdini

“My brain is the key that sets my mind free.”-- Harry Houdini

...venis'mecha

I blew up dry ice today.

hehe..

I was kinda fun. We were supposed to put it in a plastic tube, and use plyers to sqeeze it shut and then hold the whole thing under water to see how it will turn to a liquid and then as soon as it does, you let go of everything and it will become solid again.

Well, me and me partner put a big chunk in there...my partner's sqeezing it to make sure there's no leak and I've got my face two inches from the cup...

"I don't see it liquifyi--AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *that's a scream*" kaboom. The whole thing pretty much blew up and I was soaked, but it's a good thing I had something covering my eyes.
It was kinda awesome though, even the clenaing up part :p
I love blowing things up... hehe

hmmm...
what else about today...
OH I've been washing my hands every two seconds because some kid got a really bad case of staph.
AHH! And all that candy going around?? Eek. But.. at least I have the comfort of knowing if one or two other people get it they'll close the school. . . .
Jeez.....what's wrong with these people. Why wait for another victim?

anyway..
oh yea!
I've had Hava Nagila stuck in my head all day... (you JEW!) hmm hmm dee doo doo hmm hmm dee doo doo hmm hmmm deee doo dooodummmdeeeee doooooooo.....hmmm hmmmm narenana...hmmm hmmmmm narenana...

that's pretty much my day.

"...as natural as a gorilla beating his chest" -- Stephen Colbert (I vote for you!!!)

All Hallow's Eve

Hmmmmmmm...

Samhain...(I think pronounced "sowen"), basically just means "November", if you're speaking gaelic. Somehow this celtic "november" festival was attempted to be made more "christian-like" by the invention of "All Saint's Day" and has now evolved into some kind of odd, get-candy-and-loose-teeth festival.

We parade in the streets in the dark, posing as ghosts and demons who've travelled through the legendary oh-so-thin veil of this night. Partying, jack-o-lanterns, apple bobbing, trick or treating, candy, candy, candy, and most of all fear.

Fear and adrenaline rushes are the most important aspects of this holiday. Haunted corn mazes and houses, scarey movies, dark corners, strangers jumping out at you...At the moment, when the heart is pumping and our senses heightened, breathing harder, we say.... "I wish I wasn't here, I'm gonna die, something's gonna jumpp out at me" But you know you don't really mean it, the minute it's over and you've calmed down, all you can think is, "that was awesome". It's like some kind of drug. Adrenaline.

And you can't forget the vandalism and the "hitn runs". TP-ing and Egging. No wonder the city's a mess by the morning. Just make sure not to have any enemies and enough candy and treats for bribery.

Hence, the origins of going from door to door saying "Trick or Treat".....Although alotta people are annoyed with the constant knocking from dusk til dawn, they ought to be greatful that the kids are offering a choice; "If you give me treats, I won't steal your front gate." Eventually people just leave buckets of candy on the front porch and lights shut off in hopes for a good night's sleep....Au contraire, lemme tell ya, from a yungun's pov, that's simply provocation. ;)

Halloween in our lovely Mexican subculture of America is celebrated as "Dia de los muertos"....at least I think that's what it's called...Anyway, "Day of the Dead". Now I really love this festival. It's centered around remembering and honoring those that have passed (possibly contacting considering that legend of the thinning veil this time of year). They make shrines and leave gifts. They also use this time to shove the idea of death into the minds of the children...That yes, it's going to happen no matter what. BUT, what I love about it is they dress up in colorful costumes, skeletons and skulls that are clown-like, with flowers painted on them and bright designs, everyone is happy (piñatas are an amazing concept, hehe, who wouldn't want to beat the hell out of something and get candy for it?;) ). The purpose is almost the opposite of our so-called "americanized" version, whereas they want to emphasize that we will die...yes... but it is absolutely nothing to fear. Be happy, enjoy life, and don't fear death when it comes for you.

Anyway, I just love this holiday...so fun...

dum da dumm dum dum

There's nothing interesting to talk about in my life right now. I don't know what to write here...that's why I end up rambling on about nothing and everything. And that can be dangerous.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Kentucky is soooooooo booooooorrrrrrrrriiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnggggg...............I don't see how people can live here! What do they do all day? How can they stand it?? There's nothing to talk about here...

And I can't understand half the staff at school. Their accents are so thick, it's crazy. And it's the annoying kind... I mean, my dad's family, they've got an accent too but it's a good one :) makes me smile. These Kentucky ones.. ugh :( I'll sit there staring at the person, they've been talking for a minute and I'm still back deciphering the first five words. I'm like, sorry... I haven't an iota of what you just said, but it's giving me a headache... and walk away. lol

Ugh...

I dont know what else to say anymore...

wow, posted without a title....oops

Oh wow.. I just realized, I posted the wrong link to the wrong song on last post...

Fixed it now...good song....
:)

Anyway...
nothing too exciting to catch up on. I've been painting tonight... making a big mess of myself. Nonsense paintings. "Accidents". Oh well... I came down here in the studio to work on some homework....lol... I guess I got distracted.

oh I went to the flea market today.

I think I might not go out in public ever again.

Maybe it was just one of those days... when you get extra chest-and-bum-staring. But it drives me insane. What's wrong with these guys? I'm not showing anything off purposely... I dont have "anything" TO show anyway....I don't think so, at least. . .

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I think I'm going to bite the head off the next guy I see whose eyes are glued to my breasts.
I don't understand? ARe they completely oblivious? or what??
WHY? why do they do that?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm

I hate missing things. :( it's so sad. Missing is a horrible emotion......I guess it's okay in some cases...but I just miss so many things, including but not limited to, people...it's so overwhelming. I guess, though, it's in a way related to desire. You can't miss something if you don't desire it.

anyway, it's too early in the morning for this rambling.....I think it took me over and hour to write this :p

Feeling sad for girl without a hug.

This is a perfect song for someone I love very much. But sad to say, accuracy would be darker, "crueler" and if it turned sides.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cpSv2mNhhc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNQu9rP7xwI

'Crop circles in the carpets', being her own.
'Holding their heads heavy' ought to be their shame for her treatment.
'Trains and sewing machines', a wasted white dress, a wasted wed.
'Oily marks appear on walls', where pictures of fake happiness once hung.
'The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this still life.'
'Trains and sewing machines ...Oh, won't catch me around here...' no, not ever again she won't.
'Blood and tears.... They were here first...'
'ohm, what'd you say, mmm, that you only meant well? Well of course you did...'
'Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth' throw excuses and superficial masquerades out. 'Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs '
'You don't care a bit' no, you never did.
This game of conditional love.
'Hide and seek', the game of love, life, loneliness, mistakes.

"hide and seek" --Imogen Heap

People

I had some interesting interactions with people today...

This morning, I told off a couple of mexican guys for picking on this little boy. :) but it was alright, I surprised them. Qué haces a ese muchacho pobre, tu hijo de la puta? I gained some respect 'cause I'm a girl, and I cussed 'em out in their own language :p So I got one of their hispanic "Respect, respect" ghetto shakes. hehe....

I also found out this kid I've been treating like a little brother all this time, well... I found out he's had sex three times. So hmmmmm... now it's a little odd to tease him and stuff like that....oh well...welcome to america.

At lunch, this girl ran up to me and asked why I hadn't congradulated her for her anniversary yet... I said, I didn't know she was married. She said, oh no, I'm just engaged. To who? Betty Simmons.
Hmmm...I mean, I know I have alotta gay friends but never any that were planning on gettin' married. She said, as soon as they graduate they know this priest who'll do it for them.... CAuse you know, it's a big controversy... Gay marriage. I say, what the hell... do what you want as long as you're happy. Good luck.

On the bus home, I think I made that little chinese girl's day today :) See, I can imagine she has a horrible social life, because of her limited english you know, So.. I asked her name (Su Fu? or Su fui? not sure the spelling) and where she was from and said "Ni Hao" she had the biggest smile on her face, you can't imagine. I guess it was just a reminder of home, familiarity, or maybe just that someone talking to her. In any case.... I was glad to make her smile for once.

Anyways...that was my day.

It can't wait ramblings

Oh no!
I'm falling behind...

Here's an update, I'm feeling so much better than I have been! Classes are still boring, but I'll make it fun ;)
I'm trying to stay positive, confident, happy, hopeful :) No more complaining!! Try new things.
Enjoy this last month before things go haywire again.

What? You don't think I can do it? Seeing as...every other time, it hasn't worked. BUT! I am NOT giving up ever again.

Hmm.. well, spent yesterday down in TN visiting family. I didn't realize how much I missed it down there. I thought... a little farther and I'd be in Atlanta! Although, from what I hear, they're giving it about 2 months before the city runs out of drinking water. Drought. :( The lake is at an unimaginable low and they found out the extra water was being channelled down to florida to keep two endangered species alive. Say what?!
Yeeea, don't get me wrong but... C'MON! Save the fishies and muscles or save the people?

Ah well, things'll fix up soon enough.

Well, I outta go now. Promised to call the mama and ....Got two big projects due this week.....bleh.... What's the point? Okay, yes, there is a point. But I'm leaving here soon, and who knows if they'll accept the credit's I already have?? oh well...things'll fix up soon enough.

I've decided to live life to its fullest...No more saying "It can wait."

Para tu perfecto, ojos morenos, Mi amor...

os"Ojos Asi" --Shakira

ayer conoci un cielo sin sol/ y un hombre sin suelo/ un santo en prision/ y una cancion triste sin dueno

ya he ya he ya la he/ y conoci tus ojos negros/ ya he ya he ya la he/ y ahora si que no/ puedo vivir sin ellos yo

le pido al cielo solo un deseo/ que en tus ojos yo pueda vivir/ he recorrido ya el mundo entero/ y una cosa te vengo a decir/ viaje de Bahrein hasta Beirut/ fui desde el Norte hasta el polo sur/ y no encontre ojos asi/ como los que tienes tu

rabboussamai fikarrajaii/ fi ainaiha aralhayati/ ati ilaika min haza lkaaouni/ arjouka labbi labbi nidai (not sure about the arabic transliteration...)

viaje de Bahrein hasta Beirut/ fui desde el Norte hasta el polo sur/ y no encontre ojos asi/ como los que tienes tu

ayer vi pasar una mujer/ debajo de su camello/ un rio de sal un barco/ abandonado en el desierto

ya he ya he ya la he/ y vi pasar tus ojos negros/ ya he ya he ya la he/ y ahora si que no/ puedo vivir sin ellos yo

le pido al cielo solo un deseo/ que en tus ojos yo pueda vivir/ he recorrido ya el mundo entero/ y una cosa te vengo a decir/ viaje de Bahrein hasta Beirut/ fui desde el Norte hasta el polo sur/ y no encontre ojos asi/ como los que tienes tu

le pido al cielo solo un deseo/ que en tus ojos yo pueda vivir/ he recorrido ya el mundo entero/y una cosa te vengo a decir/ viaje de Bahrein hasta Beirut/ fui desde el Norte hasta el polo sur/ y no encontre ojos asi/ como los que tienes tu

Reminder #3

Do you want to succeed? Really...do you?

Then live each moment, every minute, every second....that's where success comes frmo.

Get up and do something! Stop wasting moments!

Lyrical

Well, I'm still feeling a bit like that "3rd possibility"...mixed with a bit of the 1st possibility and a dash of the second... ;)

But that's okay... because somehow, inspiration as suddenly poured out on me.

I wrote lyrics last night......Strange, I've never been much of a poet, and yet..... I put my pencil to the paper and there wasn't a pause in its movement.

I also spent some time dancing last night... from about midnight til 1:30ish...inspiration from nowhere again...It was lyrical dancing this time... Something I've grown a bit fond of, but not planning to pursue classes etc. Just maybe a good hobby. Looking back on my ballet days ;) ...But it was so strange.... I know when you watch somebody dance one, you think, oh that's easy, anyone could dance like that, anyone could move like that, it's just random. But it's not. I had tried it before, and it was more difficult than expected... but last night... it just came to me... all the movements. Every so often, I'd stop... and wonder... Wow, that was an awesome move, how did I do that? Where did it come from?

I remember I watched someone do a lyrical dance to "The Scientist" by Coldplay once. And I cried. I know, no surprise, eh? I'm a baby...but hey, I think anyone would have. She was amazing. I remember her fluid movements were so beautiful and fit just perfectly. When someone dances like that, it draws you in, on an emotional level that's unexplainable and you feel with them, you feel the passion and emotion and the meaning.

I think if I get feeling okay, although I doubt it, I'll hope for more inspiration from nowhere and make my own dance to "The Scientist" or something like....what do you think?

"You wouldn't worry so much about what other people thought if you realised how seldom they do. " -- Eleanor Roosevelt

1 2 or 3 ?

Life is so crazy. I don't even know what to talk about here now.

Even though on the surface of everything it looks as though it's not all that crazy for me right now...I mean, what with me on holiday for a week, yet seemingly bored out of my mind, getting nearly nothing done, being lazy, etc. But the truth is... I don't feel like doing anything. I keep telling myself, why are you wasting time? There's so many things that need to be done, so many things you've wanted to get done (or started)...what are you doing on your ass all day? Part of me says..."I'm gonna be lazy, because I can, because I need to."

So the truth is... I don't feel like doing anything. I feel exhausted.. and I haven't done anything! So I was trying to figure out why I am feeling this way...ill and exhausted and tired and weak...and I've come up with a few possibilities...

1. I really am ill, something's wrong health wise and it's just a matter of letting myself rest and regenerate.

2. Maybe I'm just sad... Missing people... or someone....? And it's making me not feel like doing anything and the fact that i sit around doing nothing everyday is what is making me sick....

3. Or.... It's just hit me. Every now and then, through all this crazy mess of a life, I fall down. Although...there's two ways I usually might fall down in these "now and then's". One is falling down and really "hurting" myself, breaking down in the way that I'm so depressed I feel there's no reason to live. The other, (this is the one which I'm referring to as the 3rd possibility) and that is... falling down, but not breaking down emotionally.... not completely at least. Okay, it's actually not really "falling down", it's more like laying down. I still love life, I still want to live, I still have my hopes, it's just one of those lonely moments... one of those "wishing" moments. One of those moments I half want to get up again, and the other part just wants somebody to lay down with me. Just take advantage of being able to lay down, having time to.

So I'm not depressed... not sad....Okay, a little sad, but it's the healthy amount of saddness. Okay...the slightly less than healthy amount, yet, not so much that it's such a bad thing. Maybe I just need to catch my breath. I feel like I'm in a dream...I feel like I'm floating... Everything is so unreal, and it's nto really registering very well with me what's really going on, what I'm really into, what is going to happen...but mostly..what has happened, everything that has happened for weeks, months..years. It kinda makes me just want to forget about how sick and exhausted I feel...and just....just let it be...let them come... reminisce on memories...good memories, sad memories, memories that make me cry, moments. I think maybe I need that...maybe that's what this is telling me... just let go....stop struggling... relax...relax...Relax before it all begins again...this way, you'll be ready, you'll be okay, you might actually look forward to it. New beginnings, new struggles, new saddnesses, new happiness, new moments, new people, new capabilities to be discovered. Breathe...breathe...then, chin up, you can do it! And best of all, you're not alone. No reason to feel alone this time.

I think that 3rd possibility might be the most accurate.... ;) But who knows?

"Never, never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xXaRT8CXmGE&mode=related&search=

Women in art.

Mesmerizing ;)

I think all artist's think alike.....and it is just known that the woman in a painting is the epitome of Beauty.

As some have tried to convince me, I disagree... A woman painting a "woman" should not be "ethically" verboten.

There are few things that measure up to or are more magnificent and mysterious and hypnotic than the human body. I am not saying that as an opinion, I'm saying it as it is. If you claim to disagree, then there is something seriously wrong with you.

"I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best." --Frida Kahlo

"Sometimes the painting starts to relate very directly to either sights seen or experiences felt, other times it just goes off on a tangent that you really can’t articulate." -- Susan Rothenburg

What's the worst that could happen?

He's got a point. I think I'm convinced.

I might be using this approach to solve all of my decisions now... If only I had come across it sooner.

the taboo

AHHHHHH....!

So I was just reading this article about a "polygamy rape case"...and you know how off to the side sometimes, they'll have "related" links...well, guess what the links listed were...

"Mormon ringtones", "Are you a Mormon convert?", "Learn about Momons?"

. . . . . . say wha?!

AND...the "related" book ad's at the bottom...

"The Kingdom of the Cults", "The TRUTH about Mormons", "The Cult of the Suicide Bomber", "Releasing the Bonds: Think for yourself"

WTF?

That is truely pathetic....

I just don't understand why the hell people have to make up shit about other religions just to make themselves look better....THEN the people they tell the shit that they make up to actually end up BELIEVING it and then it spreads and eventually becomes just one big stereotypical, generalizing, discriminating extravaganza!

Why can't we just get along....?? why why whhhhyyyyyy?????

"If ya can't say nothin' nice, don't say anythin' at all" --Thumper!! YES, a bunny has more sense than you judgmental meanies of the extravaganza....

PICKLES

It's fall break and I dont have to go anywhere for another week....

Yay!! Sleep in....be lazy...don't do anything I don't absolutely have to do.....y'know... like eat....that's right up there next to breathe.

Jeez......

I'm bored out of my mind.

What to do but blog about limitless boredom?

I woke up to sirens this morning... those damn sirens....although, no surprise... I could wake up to a cats purr across the room. Anyway...get this, THIS is how bored I am.....I'm so bored that I woke up...didn't want to actually get up so my mind starts running...and you know what I end up thinking about?? I start thinking.... hmmm... I wonder what it'd be like to think in a different language? Do French people, do Indian people think in a different language? Hmm, well I just pienso es interesante. Y I just love the way suena. Sería fenomenal. WHOA! AYEE!! What just haappened?! Holy shitaki mushrooms! .. ahora eso era cool....

I know.... I'm odd......I know....

Oh! but it's gonna rain today, that's happy...That reminds me.... I think I'm gonna have a pickle and peanut butter sandwich today. Nasty little booger, it is.... but it's sentimental. :) Don't you ever do things, no matter how much you hate it, just 'cause it's of sentimental value?

Kite Runner

Ah.....delaying the premiere of the highly anticipated "The Kite Runner", based on Khaled Hosseini's novel. Now, why isn't this surprise? hmmmmm...

It is sad that the actor's parents requested the film be delayed at least long enough to allow them to flee the country (Afghanistan). It's sad, but I'm not surprised....there are many controversial themes and scenes in the book. Sensitive issues, yes... but it's just not right that it should anger people so much that these actors fear for their safety.

In any case... I cant wait for the film to be released. I watched the trailer...and it reminded me....

No book has ever caused these sort of tears to run from my eyes before. It's impossible to describe what Hosseini's writing has allowed me to experience. Nearly every emotion expressable by a human was touched upon. I found I could relate in such odd ways, yet direct ways to this story. It taught me so much. It helped me get through a very difficult time as well....strange, being such a miserable book, but so uplifting. At one point, I had to put the book away for some time because it was just too much.....so much coincided with me that I just couldn't take it. It had been fate too, I know it, I ran into the book in a way that isn't explained in any other way. Kept pushing itself into my life for years...and it took this long, it took a knock on the head to finally get me to pay attention. I don't think I'll ever read a book that will affect me as much.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-1Ivdc76nAY&mode=related&search=