To the children in Heaven

Don’t you just love it when you write this big, long, important email to someone, and then your computer freezes, and it took you so long to type and you just cant ever find the time again to rewrite it….heh….yea.. I hate it when that happens…esp. when you’re like me and half the time you just let your fingers write/type what they type and and you don’t really pay attention and yet it still all comes out perfect, but if it gets deleted, you cant remember for the life of you what you said exactly, so it will never be as good again.. lol.. and I’m rambling. So anyways..gotta get caught up, so Friday night I went out with friends. Yes, me, Julie Hebenstreit…(I’ll take this time tell those of you certain people, and im not pointing fingers, how to pronounce that, it is, Heb-en-stright…is it clear now? Lol.. not hevenstraight…theres no ‘v’ in case you didn’t know it, and if you’re tryin to be clever and pronounce it in german grammar, I can assure you that the ‘b’ does not make the ‘v’ sound. BUT if you DO want to be clever then, don’t pronounce the first part as what you think is german grammar and the second half as American. Ei does make and ‘eh’ sound, but not in german………wow…lol, I sure can ramble) So…where was I? I went out with friends.. we were watching old movies that people we knew a long while ago made when they were young, as well as the ones we did when we were young. Lol, all of those people that were in them are now on their missions, otherwise we would never have gotten our hands on those. But ours were just as ‘bad’. Its good though, because it brang back a lot of good memories. And seeing all of those guys…man, really makes you miss them. 2 years! Only two more years til they all come home but then, get married and leave again, * sigh* oh well…those good ol’ days are over.
Well, Saturday I spent at home, and I admit I said no to a couple invitations to do ‘something’. But anyways, I did finish a drawing, colored in prisma colors… (don’t ask how I could afford 72 of them..because I couldn’t, it was a gift..can you believe that? I’ll tell you this much ‘so and so’ received a lot of praise for that one, he/she couldn’t afford them either and yet, here I’ve got them..I feel too spoiled, I don’t really deserve that.) I also have gotten a bit farther on another song. Working on getting it tabbed for guitar. I’m getting evan to help with the violin part. But piano and lyrics are mine. I want to make a CD, I mean, I’ve got enough songs as long as I finish them. But no, not a CD that’ll go big, just for friends and family I guess. I don’t like the attention. I don’t even like what I’ve gotten now for that last song! I mean, it’s the weirdest thing to hear someone humming your song. And well…I guess that’ll be my be-lated new years resolution. To make a CD of some sort……*sigh*…that’s gonna take a lot of time, work and confidence, but …unfortunately its official, I’ve already said it, so now I have to do it.
So anyways, I also watched a couple movies. I really liked “A Beautiful Mind”. I’m surprised I hadn’t seen it already. But it was really good. And I didn’t really mind watching it alone either. Then again, after it, you always want to discuss it with someone, but if no ones watched it then they show no interest. Yes, yes, I know it has a lot to do with math…what are you thinking Julie? That could be dangerous, you know…..Okay, I have to admit, it did give me a slightly better appreciation for the stuff. Heck, the way my life’s so twisted, I’ll probably end up in Princeton too, lol…But anyways, it was a very very good movie, and I like that it was based on a true story, I also felt like I understood the man’s situation, I mean, a lot better than you’d think. But I wont give away the secret…^_^
So…lets see.. what else did I do.. well, I fell asleep writing lyrics and music, way to be! Lol, yea, that’s me. Sorry, couldn’t help myself, when you suddenly get an idea, they keep coming and coming and you just get so carried away with it. Yea, I know… I guess that’s why they think me odd. I am strange I guess, and I don’t really mind, if people don’t like me for it, then they don’t like me.
Well anyways…It was stake conference today, so left at 9am…President Hepworth…gotta love him. Well..I mean, he always gets me so excited about whatever he is talking about. So, now, I’m feeling even more charitable than I already am.. sorry if I sound like I’m bragging, cause I’m not. I can be rather selfish at times, but who isn’t? ask anyone, I’ve got this thing about little African children, malnourished and starving…well, African and south American and Asian…well pretty much any and every where. I’ve already decided, that I’m gonna adopt a child from one of those countries, despite whether or not my husband agrees, lol.
Anyways, I cant remember his name, but I’ve met him a lot of times, but he was talking about refuges that we can go to…that our home should be a refuge, we should be able to feel the safest there. And there was somethings he pointed out specifically to parents…I desperately hope it made a difference. The next refuge he mentioned was in marriage, and your spouse. That you should feel safe with them no matter where you are or what trouble you are in. And the last pace, he said, that we should seek refuge in God. That that is the best possible place we could go, the best person too turn to.
Well, talking about this reminds me of last week, I know it’s a bit cheesy, but it was about motherhood. Kind of gets me excited and incredibly nervous. Because now that I think about it, I’m gonna have to teach them, and if I want them to turn out better than me, then I have to be better. This is strange, I know, but I feel like I already love them. I know that it cant be possible right? They do not exist….but they really do, just not on earth right now, and I can imagine those children up there looking down, watchin me and saying, ‘oh god, you’re really going to send us down to her…why me?’ hey! Well you know what! Just for that…I’m going to show you that I can be a person you want to come to.
Lol…well…I guess, I am..a little….extremely odd…but you know..it doesn’t really matter what the world thinks of you, right? As long as you’re not doing anything wrong. Well…I think I’ve strayed far enough today. Besides, the length of this post is so long already!