I wonder if....

hum hum hum...so yea...today has been interesting, surprisingly.....or...well.. i guess not so surprising, nothings really changed since last night, if anything has gotten worse. But no worries...
anyways...i meant to hae today as a day to catch up on..well everything...especially school, because I am sooo behind, and it doesn't help that im not exactly the most organized person in the world. But anyways...I did get one report done (...yay...)...so far, but I've got the rest of then night to work on everything else if I can bring myself to. And they wonder why I cant keep up with myself when I'm always locked up in my room....well, here's some news, I wonder too. What do i do in there all day? must be something productive.......heh....yea.....in a way...
but I guess maybe I'll let a little bit of the secret out...so..I write music, do some art, listen to music depending on my mood....and.........well.......the rest is my own business. It strange how i always leave some things out in any journal I write, because I know some day someones gonna read it, and there are just some things I'd like to take with me to the grave. y'know?
sometimes even I have no idea what I do.
yea, I know, I'm an incredibly strange..thing. But you get used to it.
So anyways...today, I didn't do much, woke up and did some work...I went out in the morning, for a walk..more like and excuse to get away. then....did some more things, talked to someone for a little bit, though I wish I could've talked longer. then...went out for another short walk, ( I dont really care if its 25 below zero out there...if you wait long enough, you'll turn numb and it wont really matter anyway)...did some more work, whatever i was told to do....then when i got the chance, i curled up on the couch and watched this documentary on Coldplay. Good band. Very talented, I recommend. But then again, I am leaving out alot of major things that are the main things that've put me into the mood I'm in...I guess, its a little strange to me because i told myself I wouldn't let myself get depressed for so long again, but its already been over 24 hours..and I haven't really changed. I mean...believe me, if you get depressed for several days straight, bad things happen.
You know, I wonder if....well....nevermind. That would be bringing another one of my fantasys or dreams into the pictures, things that'll never happen.
...well....my thoughts are swirling again, not really sure how to write what I want to say or whats in there....its sort of hard when you dont have the right motivation...

well...anyways, I sort of just got a random 'epiphany' to add to a song I've been workin on today, who knows, maybe oneof these days, I'll get another song actually finished rather than a bunch of little unfinished peices. Thing is...i guess it doesn't matte rif no one's ever going to hear them except me. ( oh and besides that song thats already been turned in...but thats a different story)
So anyways...i'm gonna go...