dreams are a strange thing

So..yesterday was a really good day, save for a few things by the end of the day…but I don’t really feel like talking about that now. Yea, so anyways, lately I’ve been having these dreams, I think last Tuesday or so I had this really..sort of scary/depressing/sad one. I mean, this’ll sound pathetic, but I thought it was really strange, by the end of the dream (or rather the time I had woken up to some small sound elsewhere in the house(I’m a light sleeper)) I guess.. I remember I was crying, due to what was happening in the dream, but when I woke up, my face was wet with tears..does that happen often? If you cry in a dream, you cry in real life? I was a little confused at first because the dream was still fresh in my mind, so I was still thinking it was real. But now that I look back on it…I never really thought of this..about what dreams are…if they’re just explained by memories being dug out during REM or if they’re scenes from a passed life, or a future happening..I’m not sure exactly which explanation I believe, but I’m actually starting to think, this one sort of was just meant as a lesson. I know, strange….dreams cant mean anything, hey? Sometimes, you’ll believe it anyways, and even if it meant nothing. It still made a lesson, and even if dreams cant mean anything, if that was the case, then this was a coincidence. But then again..I don’t really believe in coincidences….
Anyways…the next day I had another very clear, vivid dream. This was more of a happy one, I don’t exactly remember all the details and I try not to as usually, the more you try to remember the more you forget. But I woke up knowing something. Turns out it was true…so I guess that must be a coincidence too, right? Yea anyways…next dreams I had were disturbing..I guess you could say nightmares…but I get those often so no big deal, and I try not to summon those memories at all. I’ll say while I’m still on the subject, some more strange things about dreams I get…for one thing, sometimes I get continuous ones..if that makes sense. Like, I’ll have a dream one night and it’ll get interrupted by an alarm clock or something.. then the next day, it carries on from where it left off, it’s a little strange..sort of like I paused in time since my dreams seem so realistic. And another thing is, that I’ll have dreams that take place in a particular place, usually a place I’ve never been before…and then, days, months, weeks, years later..I’ll have a dream with a completely different plot but that takes place in the same place…as did that first dream I talked about up there ^^^

Yea.. anyways enough about the dreams….its strange how I always seem to have the urge to write when I’m not feeling particularly high-spirited…I guess it eases the pain or anger or stress…or whatever..yea…so I guess to assume that I’m not in the best of moods..I’ll write what I’m havin trouble with now.. and that’s basically too much stress I’m guessing..considering things that happened last night, and just everyday events that just simply pile on until I cant hold myself together, I end up blowing up on someone, then slowly sink into a depression, locking myself in my room…which ironically enough has happened, except, its been a few hours and I’ve slunked out, and here I am. I guess I’ve cooled… but I’ve gone from happy yellow, to a short spike of crimson red, and now to a pale bluish black….heh.. if that makes sense. But it’s the usual I guess. It happens often, just forget the good things. Anyways..I guess by the end of each day I just get so tired of the kicking, hitting, fighting, noise, chaos, pain..hurt, and blaming…I just..snap…and fall into a million pieces.. then eventually sleep comes, that usually takes the place of eating, and I can escape for a while, though…most times not into the best new world that the unconscious mind has to offer…but surprisingly sometimes, I’d sooner choose that dark world than the one I’m already in. I know, I’m strange…but..gotta live with it I guess, cause I don’t think I’ll change.

So anywho, enough with the depressing junk, that’s not all I live for, though I do believe that sometimes. But still, there are some things, that I forget in times of depression or stress or sadness, that do make me happy, give me something to better to live for.. but I cant have that all of the times,..just sometimes…and I feel spoiled enough to get that much.

Well..I’ve got to go now..tend to the needs, as always..