When things fall apart

I don't remember exactly the name of the person who conducted this experiment (it's hard to remember names given to me by word of mouth), but anyway... maybe I'll add it later if I can figure it out. So, it went like this... Babies of each sex were set up in front of a big tv screen with lots of colorful patterns playing on it. There was a string attached to their wrist that was also attached to the on-off switch for the tv. The babies would get excited about the colors and patterns they were watching and move their arms around, then the tv would turn off when they pulled the string attatched to their wrist. They studied how long it took the babies to figure out that whenever the tv turned off, all they had to do to turn it back on was wave their arms around.
Then, they set up a new experiment with the same babies. This time, once the babies turned the tv off, it couldn't be turned back on.
What they really were testing for was how do babies react when things "fall apart".
The interesting thing about it was that after the tv turned off, most of the baby boys would focus hard on that string and continue to pull it over and over again, seemingly determined to make it work, to turn the tv back on, to fix it. Most of the baby girls on the other hand.... gave up and started to cry (of course, for a baby, this is the most effective way to get help).

Anyway... okay, so it doesn't say much for me, being female.

:) But luckily, as we grow, despite what are tendencies are, we can choose our strategy of dealing when things fall apart. We're more aware of the other options. When we're older, we can think, "okay, what exactly is the problem here?" "is this fixable?" "Does it need to be fixed, or just needs some attention?" and what strategy is going to do something for the initial problem.

The thing I always seem to forget is that there are more "strategies" than just the ones that are easy for me. That I should choose it based on the problem, not based on what i feel like doing. Like in Pema Chodron's (a female monk) book (which I've never read, but I heard this story), i'll shorten it, basically, there's a vicious temple dog loose coming straight for them, ready to attack. Rather than running away, they run towards it, and it gets scared and goes away. So... If I chose the strategy of "Denial", it probably wouldn't be the best tactic in a problem like that.

Sometimes, I've got to run straight into the fear, difficulties..etc. I guess it just depends on the problem. Over all, I think I just need to stop taking myself so seriously. I'm a pretty laid back person, but sometimes, c'mon....this is ridiculous, why am i making it so serious? Just laugh.

"Life itself is more like a river than a rock. Life is in flux, it changes, twists and turns, ebbs and flows. When a river encounters a boulder, the boulder may win for a while. But eventually, even the most massive stone is worn away by the currents of time....learn to swim in the river rather than climb out of it onto the rock." --Rev. Doug Kraft