SoBe

I had a rough week...really rough. But when all is said and done, it ends with me staying up all night with my sobe green tea, watching the most beautiful moon I've seen in a month climb across the sky. Thinking, how in heaven's name did I manage to get myself into another problem like this. Thinking, yea.. they're right, I am stupid, this is probably the stupidest thing I've ever done (Thinking now, hey, I might have a decent plot for that book now:) ). But you know, the more people bring me down.. push me farther, the more I'm motivating myself. Rather than taking it as another blow to the head, I think I'll start using it as an incentive. You say I'm stupid, well I'll prove that I'm not...(anymore, at least :p). Call me arrogant, insolent, cocky...whatever...ButI'm saying... I am a good person. I really am. I makes some bad mistakes... but with good intentions. I know the good intentions don't justify the mistake, the pain, the humiliation...but this is life; everything happens for a reason. In reality, there are no mistakes. There's only carrying out what was meant to be...enduring what one needs to. If there's no valid justification, save for "everything happens for a reason", for a mistake, it doesn't mean it can't be fixed. Now, I don't think anyone/thing can really be 'fixed', but can be made better...find an alternative security, an optomistic upliftment, and cling to it. Embrace the pain when it comes, but let it go when it becomes too much to handle. Just let it go. Those demons inside you are there and encouraged only because of and by yourself.

I know my problem is only nearing its end, but it's not quite there yet. There's still much more to sort out. But I'm getting there. Just ought not to get too comfortable yet. But I believe things are going to get better... They're going upward, not down. Tomorrow will bring better and new and good things. As will the next day and the next.

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. — Orison Swett Marden, american journalist