the only way

He sent me your log from the other night I think. I only had one of my addresses then. And duddums doesn't exist anymore, so the only reason I got your message was because he sent me the log...and I guess he wasn't thinking as I knew right away what it was just knowing you had taken them back from him. And thank goodness you did....it's funny how destiny comes around like this.....Whether you conciously knew why or not...you got them months before now.. probably just for this purpose. But it doesn't solve this. I am still stuck. And I really really appreciate you wanting to sacrifice everything so that I dont have to. But...this isn't your war....this isn't your rut. I got myself into this, and I have to pay the price. At this point...I'm still his...and I'm still twisting my words and trying to find a way out....I'll find a way... I promise, and it's not death. Just knowing that was his intentions through all of this....makes me not want to do it anymore. Motivates me more. But I'm sorry if anything happens, and I'm sorry to have gotten you all tangled in this too. You should not suffer for my mistakes. If I can't stop him, then yes... everything is ruined for me...I have an idea how i might weasel my way out of it.. but it will most likely never work, it is false hope. My only hope is that he stops his insanity and starts acting like the adult he is. That he realizes who I am... and that revenge is never right. And....overall...just leaves both of us alone...peacefully. If he doesn't....and if he does carry out his threats.. then...I'll probably never see you, talk to you...ever again.. or at least, not for a very long long time. But no need to look at this situation in a pessimistic light. Look at it with optimism...It'll work out fine and I'll talk him out of all of this...talk him back to sanity. But for now... I just have to be very careful...just have to obey. 831831831 syawla!