Oddly Romantic

Doctor Manhattan to Laurie Juspeczyk: Thermodynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing. And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermodynamic miracle.

Reminder #16

The happier you act with your life, the happier you'll actually feel.

Listen

We went through almost this exact experience in one of my classes. We were discussing something involving the American Dream research essays we're working on. And the opinions turned into personal experiences and emotions just rose. Everyone had horrible stories to tell. And then my teacher showed us this video.

In my SRO group (of only 5 or 6 members)... we've been working with the local government in improving various things for people in this poor community, specifically the youth(whether it be more unity, or getting free transportation for students etc.). We have done surveys and had long debates about each problem we see and why it's happening (and then how can we fix it, how can we make them listen to us and see us).

There is no wonder that damn police copter is out over our neighborhood every night spotlighting criminals. There is no wonder the students at school throw their food everywhere. There is no wonder why there are fights among peers erupting all the time, why there is a stack 3 inches tall of highschool dropout forms sitting in the registrar, why cops patrol ready to kick around any hobo they see, why the moving truck is in my apartment complex every day and the dumpster is full of furniture, toys my sister pulls out, and personal belongings that just don't fit into their one box, and I no longer have any neighbors, why that lady downstairs is screaming at herself while her friend holds her ankles so she can dig through that crap pile to find that 30$ she accidently dropped (wasn't there a time when 30$ wasn't worth digging through shit?).

Crime increases because people have no choice. They throw their food around because it's their defense mechanism, their cupboards are empty and that's their only meal each day and it's shitfood. They fight because they don't have any other outlet and their last straw is breaking. They drop out because they have to provide for their family...or else, they just gave up. Cops take their anger about the inability to provide for their families by kicking around homeless people who are just trying to survive. I don't have neighbors because they're behind on rent, their water was cut, or they're sucked into the idea that it's a perfect time to buy a house right now only to find themselves kicked out in a matter of months. My sister takes the toys from the garbage because she doesn't have much of her own. She's digging through that pile because these days, 30$ is a fortune.

What can I do. I've got my own self to take care of.

But it really does teach you what's most important in life. To cherish it, and never let it go.

Reminder #15

Everyday can be a resurrection if one wants to face one's self.

Curious

When a man describes his incredible connection to his child while rocking her to sleep... what makes it so much more touching when it comes through sign language of a deaf man?

Surviving

We go to work and come home tired, eat and go to bed... and do it again and again and again and again. Don't take my word for it, because I don't have much experience, but really... I am so terrified that I'll end up in this cycle.
The majority of people in the world, as far as I've observed, are in jobs that they hate, or at least the job hates them...and yet they stick with the monotony just to survive. So that they can eat every day and sleep comfortably (almost).
That's all life is... it's just... get a job, any job, hopefully the best paying job, so that you can survive. That is such a sick joke. You don't get much time to spend with people you love, to build relationships, to have fun, to laugh, to travel, not even much time to spend getting to know yourself...Toooo busy trying to survive.

What's the point of this though? Like....Life is incredibly boring if you think about it. It should be switched around... you shouldn't have to work for a year so that you can take a couple day vacation. It should be, you explore life and the world, and then go work when you feel like it.

Okay, yea you can have a shitty job and still think your getting to experience life at it's fullest... but that's kind of an illusion, yes, maybe you get some, but it's nothing compared to if you just went free.
There is a small percentage of the world that does have a job that they love and that allows them to have all of these things, but it's small. No one, NO ONE wants a job that they hate or that holds them back... so why do so many people settle for that?
I dunno... just doesn't make sense to me. I swear... if I end up in a cubicle 9 hours a day... I would rather NOT survive. I would rather eat multicolored insects and wild onions every day and sleep on hard concrete under the stars every night...

Seriously....whats the point in living if you're just trying to survive?

What makes something evil?

What makes something evil?

Who decides these things?

For example, in religions like Christianity and Judaism and Catholicism etc etc. SEX is horrible. Like, you're going to hell for it. Genitals practically don't exist at all until you need to bear a child, then it becomes a chore. And you can clearly see the outcome of the supression... it becomes evil because of the suppression...those stories of priests etc. But in other religions, usually ones who have kept with more ancient ideas, it seems like it was celebrated.

Example number 2, drugs and alcohol. Okay... they were put here for a pupose... and the purpose is not as sinister as people are being told. They are not here to "tempt" us into doing evil things and going to hell. Drugs can send you to hell, but only if drugs ARE your hell. Honestly, hell is what you make it. I mean, they're here for medicinal purposes, alcohol too. Medicinal purposes, whether to fix a physical ailment or just to give you some pleasure or happiness. How do I know? Because it works. If that's not what it was meant for then it wouldn't work.

These things only become "evil" when they cause you to hurt someone else. When you drink too much alcohol and then get in your car to drive home, THAT is evil. THAT is going to send you to hell. But there are so many more cases of people drinking a little for a social thing, and being responsible by taking a cab home then there are of people drunk driving.... you just only hear the bad ones. Marijuana is evil when you get high and then try to push someone off a cliff cause you think they could fly. But there are a lot more cases of it curing something than killing something.

So, this doesn't make sense to me. Sex supposedly feels good, it's amazing and spiritual and from how people have tried to describe it to me, it's a feeling that's impossible to describe. People risk their LIVES jumping out of planes over and over again just to get that rush of adrenaline and copulents that you can also get from sex. Anyway, if it's so amazing then why do they say it's evil? Why does it send you to hell? Like I said before... it only becomes evil when it's abused. When it's used to hurt someone else.

I mean really, you have a right to do anything you want with yourself and your soul. If you wanna drink all the time, and you're educated in the longterm effects of heavy drinking, then by all means, go ahead and hurt yourself. No one can tell you you're wrong for doing that until it begins to hurt someone else. It's just like killing yourself. It's not a crime, it's not going to make you hell-bound, because you can do whatever you want to yourself. Pablo Picasso thrived on the turmoil that he caused the women (whom he hate and madly adored) in his life. The pain and misery is what fueled him and his art. So if you want to get into an unstable, dysfunctional relationship, you're parents can't damn you to hell for that.

But this is where it gets complicated.

If I'm a mother, and I choose to heavily drink all the time, it is hurting my children emotionally. If I choose to kill myself through any means, it will hurt my mother. If you kill someone, it's hurting them, whether they deserved it or not. But what about death row? What happens to the guy who's job it is to inject the fatal cocktail, does he go to hell? Picasso hurt his lovers so much, but... they chose to stay with him as long as they did as well, so who's hurting who? It's so confusing. Yea, I made some pretty bold statements about what is evil and what isn't... But the world is so much more complicated, and impossible to understand. Our minds are INCAPABLE of understanding the way life and death works.

So what really is evil? Is it just someone's opinion? They always say there is good and evil, and it has to be that way for there to be balance... but do we really know what good is and what evil is?

"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance." -Socrates

My favorite song at the moment