"Because I understood him, I didn't have to understand his poem..."

Let's eat cold rice

lie in each other's arms

run like lil mice

away from all the harms.

Let's eat cold rice

lie in each other's arms

run like lil mice

away from all the harms.

Let's eat cold rice

lie in each other's arms

run like lil mice

away from all the harms.

Why are you laughing?

That is just what you lack

Just keep on running,

Don't forget to come back.

Reminder #12

You need a healthy sense of self before you can lose your sense of self.

Almost Lover

I came across this song (actually twilight obsessed fan told me it was on the song list for new moon...).
I've listened to it numerous times since I discovered it, I don't even know why. It's such a sad song. It makes my heart hurt.
It's sad.... but a good sad.

Reminder #11

Use what seems like poison as medicine.

Suffering.

There's this thing that tibetan buddhists practice called Tong-len.
It's an amazing experience (especially if you do it with a large group).
Basically, you meditate on all of the suffering in the world. All of the stuff that makes you cringe or feel guilty that you're not doing anything about it. All of that horrible stuff that people in the world have to go through that you'd rather not think about.

Breathe in the suffering. Breathe out love.

The point is, to face all of it. Instead of avoiding the suffering and pain to seek the pleasure, go against the grain. To overcome the fear of suffering. To overcome our ego. To wake up our extremely large capacity to be compassionate.
Your heart can hold it all, all of the suffering in the world. Maybe your brain can't and definitely your stomach cannot hold it... but your heart IS big enough for all of it and then some.





"The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy." -- H.H. The Dalai Lama

Even more of Majnun...

Every breeze that blows, brings your scent to me; Every bird that sings, calls out your name to me; Every dream that appears, brings your face to me; Every glance at your face, has left its trace with me. I am yours, I am yours, whether near or far; Your grief is mine, all mine, wherever you are. (103)

Hunting and Gathering

Some one enlightened me on...some...thing....

We...as in humans.... were hunters and gatherers for millions of years. A long time to adapt to that way of life.
So if I'm ever unhappy with the way life is going right now.... I just have to think. It's only been in the last several hundred years that we've moved on to be agriculture-ists to industrial to post industrial...and now.... whatever you call this 21st century living. A relatively short time for us to evolve and adapt.
Our hunting and gathering days required maybe 3-4 hours of healthy work a day. And we lived with nature, and a part of the earth, and none of this toxic stuff filling our lungs and stomachs these days.

So of course, there's a reason why I have trouble adjusting to the unnatural demands of the 21st century.

okay, it's just a theory....

:P or an excuse.






"I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians." --Alexander the Great

Reminder #10

Truth without love is not truthful. Love without truth is not loving.

Inclusive

I didn't speak until I was 2 years old, and my first words were "Evan, stop that right now!" Obviously, I could speak, but I chose to stay silent and have my brother talk for me most of the time from 1 to 5. I grunt, he says, "Jules is hungry" "Jules needs water" "Jules wants this..."

As I grew, I'd talk a bit more, but still lived in my own world, doing strange things, that made sense in my head, but not to anyone else. Eventually, when I wanted/needed to tell my mother about something... I'd write her a letter. Too hard to express myself through speaking. Either that, or... I might break down and cry in front of her. Can't have that.

And in the past few years...I've found myself clinging to one person, and pouring my soul out. Trying to open myself up to the world. Being visibly vulnerable. Some times I dont like what I find, and some times it's liberating.

People used to say that my closing myself to the world...was just who I am.

But now people can say that I just open myself in my own ways, art, music, writing, (clinging to one person :p ). And what I can say, is that I'm still experimenting. I've got one life to live, and I want to explore.

Some people, they open up for the purpose of helping someone else. Some open up with the thought that they can manipulate someone into being a better person. But that is not what it is about. Opening yourself up to others is for your benefit. And through doing this for yourself, it will benefit others as well.

"An open heart is fierce"

Even more of Laila...

Meanwhile, Layla holds their love quietly so none will know
she lived between the water of her tears and the fire of her love . . .
Yet her lover's voice reached her. Was he not a poet? No tent curtain was woven so closely as to keep out his poems. Every child from the bazaar was singing his verses; every passer-by was humming one of his love-songs, bringing Layla a message from her beloved . . . -- p. 40

Refusing suitors, she writes answers to his poems and casts them to the wind.
It happened often that someone found one of these little papers, and guessed the hidden meaning, realizing for whom they were intended. Sometimes he would go to Majnun hoping to hear, as a reward, some of the poems which had become so popular. . . .
Thus many a melody passed to and fro between the two nightingales, drunk with their passion. -- p. 41

40

Happy new year world!

I haven't really felt the excitement in any holiday this year.. especially thanksgiving, christmas, and new years. Not sure why... preoccupied maybe?

Anyway, yesterday was a great day. A friend of mine turned 40...and we went all out to make the day, and night, hers. She got some glamour shots done, and I didn't realize how much fun I'd have just watching her. She really was beautiful.

And after that she got herself a "build-a-bear". It's one of the best things I've ever heard of :D You pick out a skin, then you go and fill it with stuffing, and pick out a little heart, kiss it and make a wish and stick it inside. Then you sew it back up and go pick out clothes and/or accesories for it. After all of it, you get a birth certificate with the name! Why haven't I done this yet??

We then got her some new pajamas and had a slumber party. Really, only 4 showed up... but it was fun anyway. We had all this stuff planned for the night until midnight, but none of it happened... really, we did almost nothing :)

Anyway, the point is. The woman is turning 40! I dont know how it is in the rest of the world, but generally here in the US, everyone dreads the "big 4- 0". My aunt cried the whole week leading up to it! Why?? What's wrong with 40? My friend... she was so excited and looking forward to it. Because she's so confident in herself, she looked gorgeous and felt fabulous, and 40 meant something wonderful rather than horrible.

Well, it was just an inspiration...