Dancing with Myself

I know something you dont know....

Lullaby

Soy triste. Estoy escribiendo esto en español porque necesito una máscara...éste es un símbolo de lo que me estoy sintiendo ahora.

Me siento quebrado.

Mis daños del corazón...lastimaron.

Y....Mi canción a dormir esta noche, es las lágrimas. No paran. Pero son muy necesarios...Y ahora...puedo no sentirme donde mi cuerpo termina y la tierra comienza.

If you can't read this then the purpose of the mask if fulfilled...

I sing the little lullaby...

"Un elefante se balanceaba sobre la tela de una araña, como veía que resistía fue a llamar a otro elefante. Dos elefantes se balanceaban, sobre la tela de una araña, como veían que resistía fueron a llamar a otro elefante...."

Honey, If you love me...

...will you please please smile...?

:) Don't you just love that game?

It's genius, really...whoever came up with it.....Bravo. Used to play it with mumma's family all the time...good times, good times...

Let me explain it, for those of you that don't know this game...

Everyone sits in a circle, the person who is "It" is in the middle. "It" must choose a person, whom they think is the weakest, and go up to 'em, and say "Honey, if you love me, will you please please smile?" And try to make the victim smile. The victim must say "Honey, I love you, but I just can't smile" 3 times without smiling until the third is said. If they smile, they're the new "It", If they hold composure, then "It" must move on to another victim.

:)

It's just fun. Makes me want to smile :)

I was just thinking of the words, "I love you". Just great words that can be got away with so easily with saying in such magniloquence, confidence. I think it should be said more often, and not saved for the most apparent 'perfect' moments. I'm opposed to what they say....they say if it is said too much, it loses its meaning. But that is ridiculous! It cannot lose its meaning, and it shouldn't lose its meaning. Only people make it lose its meaning.

Every time someone says it to me, it means something amazing. And the meaning varies from each person who says it. But the moment it's said, it is mine...the words are mine and they generate certain feelings in me depending who it is from. Don't get me wrong, these words shouldn't be thrown around if they're going to be misunderstood. But for me....I believe that no matter how many times it is said, it can never ever elude its meaning...so long as you don't allow it.

"Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles. It's humor. It's anticipation. It's respect. It's acceptance. It's patience. It's exploration. It's understanding. It's consideration. It's responsibility. It's desire. It's abandonment. It's truth. It's Joy. It's ecstasy. It's renewal. It's tenderness. It's sensuousness. It's practicality. It's closeness. It's adaptation. It's loneliness. It's a lesson in human frailty. It's reflection, faith, trust. Love is stories that will never be told. It's secret."--anonymous

A Struggle Within

What shall I rant about today?

Brace yourself, I'm in a heightened political state today and someone pissed me off this morning (you know who you are).

I wanna talk about the word "jihad" today. First off, I'll start off by saying I am naiive and inexperienced in this topic but, nevertheless this highly oppinionated person is about to burst and needs to let off from what she does know.

Where to start... where to start....

Well that's easy... let's cut to the chase....Who the hell came up with the idea of "jihad" meaning solely "holy war" or "let's-go-blow-up-innocent-people-for-our-own-pathetic-vengence-reason's-and-justify-it-as-God's-word" (yea, sure... the "God made me do it" excuse always works). It's not directly about spreading Islam for those people anyway, it's about forcing Muslim political power...just about power. Now that is the root of it...and I'm talking about extremists right now, other people...many of the actual pon's that do all the work...they honestly believe in what they are doing. They're just brainwashed. They've got it drilled in their mind that your personal moral inclinations don't matter, because if God exists then he is the only arbitrary, the only being that truely knows right from wrong. That's what's in their minds...and then they're told exactly what God supposedly says is right...which just so happens to be the complete opposite of their moral values. So why do "muslims kill people in the name of Allah". The truth is, they don't. Because they're not technically Muslims. If somebody called themself a Christian and went around killing people who aren't christian, and did it in the name of Jesus Christ, then would you (By you, I mean people who are christians) consider them a Christian? No.....Of course not!

Anyway... that's not where I meant to go... I meant to say what jihad is not what it isn't.

I think jihad for a muslim could be defined in various ways (not including death in any of them). It could be best defined in this modern world as a struggle to remain humble. A stuggle against all the tempations of a materialistic society. Yes, that's it....When one lives in a secular society and has to work constantly to be able to keep/maintain one's beliefs.

For example...the wearing of Hijab. Especially in a western country. That can't be easy. But it is a deliberate display of faith, and I hold those women to the highest esteem. It takes a lot courage to do that. And the thing is, they are harassed, and treated badly, and looked at like they have "I'm-gonna-kill-you" written on their forehead. But they keep going, they continue wearing it anyway. I think that in and of itself is a jihad. That's what it means. It means following your beliefs unwaveringly, it means holding to Lehi's iron rod, it means standing up for yourself.

"If you could hie to Kolob, in the twinkling of an eye, And then continue onward, with that same speed to fly, Do you think that you could ever, Through all eternity, Find out the generation, where God's began to be..." --My favorite hymn, so uniquely mormon, If You Could Hie to Kolob.

Broken English

I met this French guy today...he was kinda cute...but then..he was French. You know the French. You know the relationship between them and us Americans. Worse than yankee's and limey's. But he was intriguing....he couldn't speak English...nevertheless, still interesting.

So I spoke to a French guy...in french. I know, I suprised myself, who knew I could speak french?

I'm sure it was a combination of things...between knowing latin and spanish and portuguese, one doesn't have to do anything more and can speak french! Athough, I could have sworn, french would be the one language I'll never be able to speak. Throw me Russian, throw me Icelandic...peice'a cake...but french? Gives me the shivers.

Je suis embarrasse. Je suis sur que ma grammaire etait imprecise...Comme il est maintenant.

I had better start writing here again, hadn't I? Even if it's just a few words...now hold me to this...

New goal:

I will write here every day for the next week (And then we'll see what happens).