Reminder #1

Reminder:

Must throw a party for myself one day, to celebrate my new position as writer, scribe, scriptist as well as speech writer for national travelling presentations....in the conservation/raptor rehabilitation and green team.."group".

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Wickedness and Cruelty

What is it?

I can tell you this much, there is much too much of it in the world.

The world seems to have turned to the morally bad for solace. This makes me sad...because really, I do see it all around.

I'm an observer, as you may know, and this is what I have observed. At an alarmingly fast rate...wickedness and hatred are popping up everywhere. And for no reason! I mean, it might've been there since the beginning...because man will be man...But sometimes it seems as though everyone hates everyone these days.

I look around, and this is what I see... People...adults, elders..children!...doing degrading, immoral acts-turned-habits. The elders should know.... they should have enough sense by now to know!! Right? But.....Bestiality and corruption in those children. Perversion and...no respect!

But guess who this next generation is learning from? Yes, you know. They take what they've surveyed and they add what they perceive and...well...the concoction creates something much more villanous.

Something else makes me sad....

I typed in "wickedness" to google for ideas.... didn't find any, of course...but, I noticed... on of the first sites to pop up was an Islamic-hater's site. On the first page! One of the first hits!! How did this happen? How did Islam end up there?

Ah well...this is what the world is now...

But I can't leave this all to the depressing fact that one day, it seems, all that will be left is hate...right?

There is still love in some places, you just have to know where to look. It will always be there, forever...even if it is not obvious to the naked eye.

And beauty? Yes there is beauty forever also. But it isn't something you have to search for. It is there... every where...in everything. In every seemingly trivial thing and every brilliant thing, it's there. So much of it, so beautiful that it seems worthy of worship.

A lone morning glory in a patch of weeds during a sad, rainy dawn...

Chivalry Love

The Rules of Chivalry Love...

As laid out by Andreas Capellanus, a champlain at a French court in the 1100s...

Love is a certain inborn suffering derived from the sight of and excessive meditation upon the beauty of the opposite sex, which causes one to wish above all things the embraces of the other and by common desire to carry out all of love's precepts in the other's embrace.

1. Marriage is no real excuse for not loving.

2. He who is not jealous cannot love.

3. No one can be bound by a double love.

4. It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing.

5. That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish.

6. Boys do not love until they arrive at the age of maturity.

7. When one lover dies, a widowhood of 2 years is required of the survivor.

8. No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons.

9. No one can love unless he is impelled by the persuasion of love.

10. Love is always a stranger in the home of avarice.

11. It is not proper to love any woman whom one would be ashamed to seek to marry.

12. A true lover does not desire to embrace in love anyone except his beloved.

13. When made public love rarely endures.

14. The easy attainment of love makes it of little value; difficulty of attainment makes it prized.

15. Every lover regularly turns pale in the presence of his beloved.

16.When a lover suddenly catches sight of his beloved his heart palpitates.

17. A new love puts to flight and old one.

18. Good character alone makes any man worthy of love.

19. If love diminishes, it quickly fails and rarely revives.

20. A man in love is always apprehensive.

21. Real jealousy always increases the feeling of love.

22. Jealousy, and therefore love, are increased when one suspects his beloved.

23. He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps very little.

24. Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.

25. A true lover considers nothing good except what he thinks will please his beloved.

26. Love can deny nothing to love.

27. A lover can never have enough of the solaces of his beloved.

28. A slight presumption causes a lover to suspect his beloved.

AHhh.... see what having too many renn. fayre friends does to you....?

It's no longer, "I have to use the restroom" it's... "I shall go to the privy" ;)

Oh no.... did that comment ruin the lovely moment?

ta da!

Welcome to the new blogness...

To Sable...

a peek Inside the LOnely, VaultEd skY of the mOUrning star At earLy daWn, wAking Young eyeS...

...I think he still wins...

...

puzzeling...

I have this urge to draw or paint now...

...but I know if I start now, I'll be up all night...

what shall I draw...?

m m m m good...

I don't know what to write about.

I thought about writing about wickedness or cruelty...or milkshakes...

But those all seem so bland. Too depressing for today (Yes, writing about milkshakes, depressing...because I lack one).

Then I really feel like writing a song....but that requires too much effort, and it's funner if you can put music to it....which I can't (in any way other than in my head).

Then I thought about food...

bleaaa bleaaaa...that's all you think about, Juliana, food!!...isn't it? Well, why not? It is truely a magnificent thing. One of the greatest pleasures in the world :) I'll have you know, you can ask me anything about organic produce, and I can tell you right off the bat, don't even gotta think about it.

OPW to the rescue!

I love being loved, don't you?

Adam

There are 6,618,649,793 in the world, last I heard.

There are 302,818,508 people in the U.S. of A.

There are 393,664 people in the U.S. with the first name Adam.

Statistically Adam is the 143rd most popular first name.

99.62 percent of people with the first name Adam are male.

Adam derives from the Hebrew noun ha adamah meaning "the ground" or "earth"

Adán is the Spanish form of this name, As in.... Antonio Adán, the Spanish football goalie.....In Arabic Adam (آدم) means "made from the earth/mud/clay".

Adolphe Adam, a French composer of Minuit, chrétiens! or "O Holy Night".......Albrecht Adam and son, Benno Adam, and brother, Heinrich Adam...as well as Eugen Adam, all talented German painters...portraits, etchings, lithographs...

Adam Gontier, the lead singer for Canadian Alternative Rock band 3 Days Grace...Or, Adam Stein, titled "Sexiest Man on the Planet."

Then theres...Juliette Adam (1836 – 1936), a French writer...

But then also, there's always, Adam....Just Adam. Adam who began it all, with his wife Eve. Adam who tended the animals and the greens in Eden. Some even say he became the archangel, Michael.

Which brings me to an Adam who is very important to me... Not THE Adam who is THE most important to me....Just another one who is. And he comes from the West, 水 , Ap/Jala, Genbu, Aab, a cane, a bowl of blood, a cup, a bowl, a cauldron of the Dagda, always full...Water, Rain......rain....

He's tall, and he has light brown hair... a bit of facial hair...deep green eyes, and simple muslin clothing. He has a voice that is most sweet to hear, although it isn't really heard, it is felt. It is known. It is cool...like breeze on your neck, but through your mind. Like a refreshing morning gulp of oxygen after a stormy night. And the voice says "truth", the voice says "guidance", the voice says "comfort", as long as I listen.... If I don't.... he cant get to me....and I begin to lose myself. I even dare to forget that he is there...watching, and wishing I would turn to him for help. He's just waiting for me, fighting for me, and he cares for me....even though I don't quite know his identity, he sure knows mine. He is Adam. He's somewhat of a spirit guide for me, somewhat of an angel as some would say. That is all I know; That he exists, that he is with me, and that he Knows.

He reminds me very much of another Adam I know, one who is THE most important to me...

"In the beginning of all things, wisdom and knowledge were with the animals, for Tirawa, the One Above, did not speak directly to man. He sent certain animals to tell men that he showed himself through the beast, and that from them, and from the stars and the sun and moon should man learn.. all things tell of Tirawa.

All things in the world are two. In our minds we are two, good and evil. With our eyes we see two things, things that are fair and things that are ugly.... We have the right hand that strikes and makes for evil, and we have the left hand full of kindness, near the heart. One foot may lead us to an evil way, the other foot may lead us to a good. So are all things two, all two." --Letakos-Lesa (Eagle Chief), of the Pawnee Indians

barbed wire and butterflies

Once upon a time, there were two people...each madly in love with the other. She was so much in love with him, it was indescribable. Not a second was wasted not dreaming about him. She thought that even his love for her couldn't compete. But he would argue otherwise...

He examines almost every inch of her. Every smooth curve, every elegant angle. The way her slender fingers move...the way each part of her skin feels brushed lovingly against lips. He does this out of worship, out of pure love, not passion. Does this because craves to know her. When she closes her mind to him, he desperately tries to know her in every way possible left, without going against her wishes.

It was a beautiful relationship...one that not even lust could impede.

But one day...an evil crept in. A darkness that threatened to tear them apart forever. It was a darkness full of confusion, mistakes, begging...it invoked so much fear, so much anger, saddness, and pain...invoked anything but sang-froid.

It did pull them apart....so painfully. They couldn't stop it. It just happened.

They made a vow though, a strong vow. A promise, that no matter what...they would be together again, no matter what, this darkness couldn't keep them separated forever. They would have to wait for the right moment, then pounce on it. Pounce on it with all their might, mind, and strength...and eliminate the darkness. The invisible matter expanding two galaxies farther and farther away.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it willmove. " -- Matthew 17:20

6 Years

It can't have been 6 years all ready?? SHE is NOT 6 years old and in kindergarden. There's just no way...

Why does time fly?

Mistakes?

It is strange to be owned. Claimed.

I mean, aside from one's own parents.

It's different. New. Strange...

Just interesting.

One struggles to accept it, get used to it. Struggles to tie down the emotions. The ever so mixed-up emotions. Makes it hard to see whether it is good or bad, or whether it will be good or will be bad.

Play it as it goes, I suppose, as long as it doesn't get you killed. Thinking too hard about what's to come can be a little painful at times. No matter what, just remember yourself. Who you are...if you're sure of your own person, and you love this person, you dont need any one else in the end. Don't lose hope. Mistakes can be forgiven.

Dancing with Myself

I know something you dont know....

Lullaby

Soy triste. Estoy escribiendo esto en español porque necesito una máscara...éste es un símbolo de lo que me estoy sintiendo ahora.

Me siento quebrado.

Mis daños del corazón...lastimaron.

Y....Mi canción a dormir esta noche, es las lágrimas. No paran. Pero son muy necesarios...Y ahora...puedo no sentirme donde mi cuerpo termina y la tierra comienza.

If you can't read this then the purpose of the mask if fulfilled...

I sing the little lullaby...

"Un elefante se balanceaba sobre la tela de una araña, como veía que resistía fue a llamar a otro elefante. Dos elefantes se balanceaban, sobre la tela de una araña, como veían que resistía fueron a llamar a otro elefante...."

Honey, If you love me...

...will you please please smile...?

:) Don't you just love that game?

It's genius, really...whoever came up with it.....Bravo. Used to play it with mumma's family all the time...good times, good times...

Let me explain it, for those of you that don't know this game...

Everyone sits in a circle, the person who is "It" is in the middle. "It" must choose a person, whom they think is the weakest, and go up to 'em, and say "Honey, if you love me, will you please please smile?" And try to make the victim smile. The victim must say "Honey, I love you, but I just can't smile" 3 times without smiling until the third is said. If they smile, they're the new "It", If they hold composure, then "It" must move on to another victim.

:)

It's just fun. Makes me want to smile :)

I was just thinking of the words, "I love you". Just great words that can be got away with so easily with saying in such magniloquence, confidence. I think it should be said more often, and not saved for the most apparent 'perfect' moments. I'm opposed to what they say....they say if it is said too much, it loses its meaning. But that is ridiculous! It cannot lose its meaning, and it shouldn't lose its meaning. Only people make it lose its meaning.

Every time someone says it to me, it means something amazing. And the meaning varies from each person who says it. But the moment it's said, it is mine...the words are mine and they generate certain feelings in me depending who it is from. Don't get me wrong, these words shouldn't be thrown around if they're going to be misunderstood. But for me....I believe that no matter how many times it is said, it can never ever elude its meaning...so long as you don't allow it.

"Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles. It's humor. It's anticipation. It's respect. It's acceptance. It's patience. It's exploration. It's understanding. It's consideration. It's responsibility. It's desire. It's abandonment. It's truth. It's Joy. It's ecstasy. It's renewal. It's tenderness. It's sensuousness. It's practicality. It's closeness. It's adaptation. It's loneliness. It's a lesson in human frailty. It's reflection, faith, trust. Love is stories that will never be told. It's secret."--anonymous

A Struggle Within

What shall I rant about today?

Brace yourself, I'm in a heightened political state today and someone pissed me off this morning (you know who you are).

I wanna talk about the word "jihad" today. First off, I'll start off by saying I am naiive and inexperienced in this topic but, nevertheless this highly oppinionated person is about to burst and needs to let off from what she does know.

Where to start... where to start....

Well that's easy... let's cut to the chase....Who the hell came up with the idea of "jihad" meaning solely "holy war" or "let's-go-blow-up-innocent-people-for-our-own-pathetic-vengence-reason's-and-justify-it-as-God's-word" (yea, sure... the "God made me do it" excuse always works). It's not directly about spreading Islam for those people anyway, it's about forcing Muslim political power...just about power. Now that is the root of it...and I'm talking about extremists right now, other people...many of the actual pon's that do all the work...they honestly believe in what they are doing. They're just brainwashed. They've got it drilled in their mind that your personal moral inclinations don't matter, because if God exists then he is the only arbitrary, the only being that truely knows right from wrong. That's what's in their minds...and then they're told exactly what God supposedly says is right...which just so happens to be the complete opposite of their moral values. So why do "muslims kill people in the name of Allah". The truth is, they don't. Because they're not technically Muslims. If somebody called themself a Christian and went around killing people who aren't christian, and did it in the name of Jesus Christ, then would you (By you, I mean people who are christians) consider them a Christian? No.....Of course not!

Anyway... that's not where I meant to go... I meant to say what jihad is not what it isn't.

I think jihad for a muslim could be defined in various ways (not including death in any of them). It could be best defined in this modern world as a struggle to remain humble. A stuggle against all the tempations of a materialistic society. Yes, that's it....When one lives in a secular society and has to work constantly to be able to keep/maintain one's beliefs.

For example...the wearing of Hijab. Especially in a western country. That can't be easy. But it is a deliberate display of faith, and I hold those women to the highest esteem. It takes a lot courage to do that. And the thing is, they are harassed, and treated badly, and looked at like they have "I'm-gonna-kill-you" written on their forehead. But they keep going, they continue wearing it anyway. I think that in and of itself is a jihad. That's what it means. It means following your beliefs unwaveringly, it means holding to Lehi's iron rod, it means standing up for yourself.

"If you could hie to Kolob, in the twinkling of an eye, And then continue onward, with that same speed to fly, Do you think that you could ever, Through all eternity, Find out the generation, where God's began to be..." --My favorite hymn, so uniquely mormon, If You Could Hie to Kolob.

Broken English

I met this French guy today...he was kinda cute...but then..he was French. You know the French. You know the relationship between them and us Americans. Worse than yankee's and limey's. But he was intriguing....he couldn't speak English...nevertheless, still interesting.

So I spoke to a French guy...in french. I know, I suprised myself, who knew I could speak french?

I'm sure it was a combination of things...between knowing latin and spanish and portuguese, one doesn't have to do anything more and can speak french! Athough, I could have sworn, french would be the one language I'll never be able to speak. Throw me Russian, throw me Icelandic...peice'a cake...but french? Gives me the shivers.

Je suis embarrasse. Je suis sur que ma grammaire etait imprecise...Comme il est maintenant.

I had better start writing here again, hadn't I? Even if it's just a few words...now hold me to this...

New goal:

I will write here every day for the next week (And then we'll see what happens).

D.A.D.D.

So the other day... I had this orientation to go to. So I got myself all fixed up for the first time in while... (..I been savoring these last days before I actually have to do something again...). And my dad gives me this strange look,

I say.. "What?"

"You look really nice. I'm worried"

Oh no..."D.A.D.D. ?"

"Yep"

Now, getting a compliment like that... "nice"....it doesn't seem like much. But you have to understand, when coming from him...it is a lot and it is a rare occurance (And no, not just because I'm rarely looking nice...).

Thanks to him, I walked around with my chin up the rest of the day.

(btw-- D.A.D.D. = Dad's Against Daughters Dating)

“A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.” --Enid Bagnold

Rojo Diablo

Is it just me? Or are the origins of words and symbols and language remarkably interesting.

I know, I tend to irk people to the point of insanity as I run around vomiting sunshine and spouting out my epiphanies regarding anything from the relation between the word "red" in Spanish and the name Rohit in Hindi to the astrological origin of the word "Friday" (which, by the way, I think comes from the Latin "Veneris Dies" meaning "Venus' Day" and possibly came to English through the Anglo-Saxon equivalent, "Friges Daeg" or "Frigg's Day". Venus was the Roman goddess of love; Frigg was her Norse counterpart.)

eyah! You see? I can't control it. It just pops out. And the thing is, I am in no way intending to get praise for it. I know it's an incredibly boring subject to most people anyway. So I'm more of talking to myself. There's nothing wrong with trying to impress yourself is there (After all... she's the only one that listens so intently....)

It's like if you're high or something...and you've realized, what you think is, this AMAZING idea, and then you tell everyone about it, and they can immediately tell that you're high. But you know, it doesn't matter how stupid you make yourself look, at least you yourself think it was a great revelation.

Okay...so bad example. But you catch my drift?

As for symbols, I think there's a slightly higher number of people who find them intrigueing. But the problem is, ssymbols are more often than not misunderstood, righ'? I mean, take some symbol, and ask random people on the street what it means, and you'll get answers you cant imagine.

For example...(oh no...run!) The "swastika" (or, more accurately, "svastika")...actually means, something more like "conducive to well-being", and is Sanskrit, not German. Tear it apart and you get su + asti = "well" + "it is"....NOT "Nazi's rule, Jew's suck". The cross was actually used all over the place, much before the Nazi regime. A favorite of Mesopotamian's and stood for good fortune, and prosperity. At the same time on the other side of the world, it was used by Mayan's and Navajo's religiously and similarly.

And in India...to this day...it's widely used in Buddhism and Hinduism. A symbol for a saint because the arms remind them of four possibly places for rebirth; Animal/plant world, Hell, back as a human, or the spirit realm. Sometimes it's hung over doorways of homes, or even businesses. Even clockwise and counterclockwise direction of arms stand for different things, Right- solar, the suns course etc. , Left- basically the opposite...night, magic, Kali...

The swastika only came to the Nazi's through some guy named Guido von List...And can't remember the exact story, but something about him building a temple to Wotan and creating some kind of cult, eventually evolving in to an Armenian Society where the right-handed swastika's "sun" reference became a reference to the "sun-people" and so forth lie the foundations for Hitler adn his Aryan-Germanic ideals.

I think I've gotten carried away, but you see what I mean? Now, next time when you see a swastika you wont automatically think hate and bitterness and death.

Of course... I could be all wro0ng, at least according to somebody.

"If we ask a vague question, such as, 'What is poetry?' we expect a vague answer, such as, 'Poetry is the music of words,' or 'Poetry is the linguistic correction of disorder.'" --Archie R. Ammons

"A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day." -- Emily Dickinson

The Earth.....

...is Alive...........

Dawn Again

So...

I've been given yet another 'new slate'. I have mixed feelings about this... I'm not quite so excited about this one. Not so confident. Actually...a little dreadful.

But I'm not so sure why that is. Can't be too bad, can it? In any case, it's an adventure...an experience. You can never go wrong with too much experience...although, I have this strange feeling like deja vu as if I know exactly how "this" experience will turn out...

Experience.

Is it really necessary in order to fully understand a situation? Or are there other ways...

Does it always have to be a rational, physical explanation? Something that "makes sense"....?

I think people tend to underestimate how far science can go. Maybe the "logical" explanation for something is only logical because you made it logical.

It is said that the natives of america could not see first European ships coming even when they were in plain sight. They say, there was a shaman of one of these indian tribes on the coast in Florida. He would sit staring out across the Atlantic and one day...he noticed an unusual ripple on the horizon. So, curious...he stared at it hour after hour, day after day, trying to figure out just what it was...until one day...He looked toward the place of the ripple and what he saw was unfathomable. He'd never seen anything like it. He couldn't even describe it to his tribe. He brought them to look and all they could see was that ripple...he told them look deeper...and the giant, sailed ships appeared seemingly from nowhere. Because these people had never seen anything remotely like this before, they were unable to see it.

If this is true.... then who knows what could be surrounding us. Or maybe...it could explain all the 'unexplained'. Or maybe this, or maybe that.....But that's just it, we're afraid of "maybe"....it always has to be "know" "know" "know" "fact". We can't just know everything, and we shouldn't try...Where would we be without mystery?

"Nut, the sky mother, wife of Geb of the earth, arched over the whole world covered in stars and into her womb the boat of Ra passed each night, to be reborn in the morning."

http://www.myspace.com/abigailnoveen (My aunt...)

My Dearest Jules...

"...You Were the First"

My dearest Jules,

I do not know if this will ever find you. Maybe you're already on the boat. I do not know. I do not remember where you were going. I miss you now. I painted your name in the blood on the back wall. The blood is still there. I do not know what happened to the Man... he doesn't push things under the door any more for me. I feel very lonely now. I can still smell you on the wwalls and the floor. I'm afraid now. Why did you leave? You will come back soon. You would not leave me here alone. I don't have any more cookies left, and the crackers make my mouth hurt. I've been tasting the blood on the wall. It makes me feel bad. Please come back.

RAG

Mayday

It's Beltane tonight...

I kinda wish that I could dance and weave those ribbons,

tie that fruit and bread to the trees,

make that cone with a circle of people I love..

leap over that fire and shed that all dead winter bark..

let go of my worries...

"Father forgive me my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me, for I freely forgive all men. If we would secure and cultivate the love of others, we must love others, even our enemies as well as friends. . . . I possess the principle of love. All I can offer the world is a good heart and a good hand. The Saints can testify wether I am willing to lay down my life for my brethren. If it has been demonstrated that I have been willing to die for a "Mormon", I am bold to declare before Heaven that I am just as ready to die in defeding the rights of a Presbyterian, a batist, or a good man of any other denomination. . . . It is a love of liberty which inspires my soul." -- HOC 5:498 (Joseph Smith Jr.)

Dream is Destiny

Let's talk about Maktub... "Maktub" means "It is written." There are some Arabs that feel that "It is written" is not such a good translation, because... although everything is already written, God is compassionate, and wrote it all down just to help us, guide us. Maktub is a paradox to me...It seems as though nothing can be fate because God is all-knowing, God has granted us our free will (or so they say), But the question has always lingered, since before 350 B.C., since before Aristotle, that is; How can both fate and freedom coexist? Obviously, by fate, we are chained down to whatever is bound to happen...certainly no freedom can dwell there when whichever choice we make is the choice that we were destined to make. And we all know, freedom can not be....no matter what, there are always the laws of physics, of the universe..that must be followed. You're body, is just a complex arrangement of carbon molecules, just water, so our behaviour isn't gonna be an exception to these laws. With laws, there isn't freedom. I could ask, What if those laws which sustain the universe were taken away in order to make way for freedom? Can that be? What would happen if it were so?---------------------------------------------

No, really... I'm asking you, because I do not know the answer. Who knows? If that were to happen, maybe we'd all just end up like little whatchamacallit's (atom's?) that are bound by constant randomness, absolutely anything could happen, absolutely any time despite the surrounding situation.....But then again, if that were so...we'd still be "bound" to those random bursts and "bound" can only mean limits, and limit's can only mean the lack of pure freedom. -------------------

So, why bother with thinking about free will? Why not just accept that we're bound by laws and move on? Because we can't escape the question of free will. Just think of individuality, who you are..it's just an accumulation of all the free choices you made, and you can only be respected for things you did of your own free will. And what about responsibility? How can you be held responsible for something you had no power over because makub was just using you as a vessel to carry on its story. ------------------------

I guess..In order to really understand what it truly is, we need to understand the concept of time. Nothing can be lost at at least trying to understand time because it is full of so many mysteries. 'God is all knowing' and 'we have our amanah..our free agency and our own responsibility' can coexist, at the same time (just as a half empty glass is ‘half full’ and ‘half empty’ at the same time, both are statement of truth, just as every moment is a 'holy' moment (as the presence of god is 'holy'), therefore, you experience this holy moment while at the same time you can watch this moment in the state of just the awareness of that moment). God is beyond time...God created Time. He can easily grab quantum physics by the scuff and live above and within the past, present, and future all at once. While we, measley spirits trapped in prisons of flesh ;) , are bound to the present plane only. We can only think about future, wish about the future and past, remember the past...but before we grasp what exactly is the present it becomes the past. Since God is beyond time, He knows all, and His knowing all signifies everything is written.-------------------------------------------------------------------

Y'know... in writing all of this, I am not taking a particular side....I'm taking a scientific look, a religious look, 'new age', philosophical, shared look and writing a small portion of my thoughts and impressions on these things put together as one idea.-------------------------------------------

I mean, for all we know...What we call "life" could just be a dream....a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream. People talk about 'lucid dreaming'..being able to stay concious while sleeping and control your dreams, CREATE, and manipulate that 'dimension', that perception of reality. Maybe that's all I'm doing now, and I can make myself wake up, but I will be 'waking up' to another reality, another 'dream'.--------------------------------------------------

Or...maybe, this 'God' guy, that IS everywhere, IN everything, IS everything, is just posing us a question...over and over until we answer S/He/It, "Yes". S/He/It's asking us "Do you want to be one with eternity? Do you want to be in Jannah, Elysium, in Heaven?" to which we keep answering, "No. No. No thank you. No." . In which case, the whole story of life leads down to a core of ...The transition of moving from "no" to "yes". So... ultimately, S/He/It waits for us to finally answer, WITH the right intentions/understanding/readiness, "Yes, I give in. Yes, I accept. Yes, I embrace."----------------------------------

Or...MAYBE.....maybe this, maybe that, maybe we're putting too much thought into it all...All of what I've just said could be a load of crap and completely meaningless, and for all you know, I might have been aware of this and just put together a bunch of big fancy words to make me sound all smart and sophisticated and wise...But to give my honest word, it is painful for me to even try to comprehend these things, let alone just KNOW the answers to these questions, honest to goodness, I don't know how someone like me could think of these things (although, I know I am deffinately not the first to)..it's sorta like it is channelled to me from some other source, maybe even my own subconcious without realizing it, maybe GOD......but in any case, I'm gettin' a little sleepy now and...I... think...I might...might.. just.......... ---------------------------------------



"To say yes to one instant is to say yes to all of existence."

Obelisk of Fire

And before that chasm of light,

As within a furnace bright,

Column, tower, and dome, and spire,

Shine like obelisks of fire,

Pointing with inconstant motion

From the altar of dark ocean

To the sapphire-tinted skies; As the flames of sacrifice

From the marble shrines did rise,

As to pierce the dome of gold

Where Apollo spoke of old.

-Percy Bysshe Shelley, Lines Written Among the Euganean Hills, 1819

Surprise!

It was s'posed to be a surprise, but I artfully ruined it :)

Turns out my dad and I are going to get away for a few days and see Evan preform at Carnegie :) yay!

( I think I had too high of expectations when e handed me the tickets... reading... "Days Inn, Alexandria"....wait....Alexandria, Egypt ???? :P But this is good too.)

We're gonna mozy our way up...stop in Washington D.C. for a day... go to museums, galleries... etc. Then head to Philly and go to a few more rather prestigious galleries etc. (Maybe I can lick the Liberty Bell for real this time ;) ) Then FINALLY, to NYC...see a few sites in the city (I'm not so sure I want to go to Ground Zero, I will cry.) until the show. But the twist is, Evan doesn't know I'm coming. He has the idea that we can't afford (which we can't lol, and I'm giving up my class til next year to do this) So he won't even expect it. :)

I'm verrrrrrrrrry excited for this. (Now I get to brag that MY brother is singing in the CARNEGIE ;) )

http://www.carnegiehall.org/article/box_office/events/evt_7733.html?selecteddate=03192007 (see the "Madison High School, Rexburg, Idaho"....)

"A Bodhisattva is someone who has compassion within himself or herself and who is able to make another person smile or help someone suffer less. Every one of us is capable of this."

"We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love."

"In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change."

"People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?"

--Thich Nhat Hanh

Ek Ong Kar

"Who can remember their race between dreams? Nothing ever holds its pace between dreams. A mighty river thunders on its way, An endless quest for the place between dreams. Though predators fiercely hunt for your soul, Know they can never give chase between dreams. Cloudscapes of splendor vanish in the wind; Their existence bears no trace between dreams. This depthless farness mid the burning stars Is but the motionless space between dreams. Light ventures through and beyond the abyss, Yet will never show its face between dreams. Our pains and sorrows gather fold on fold, But who can carry their case between dreams? Your freedom flutters far in flight, Zahhar, For limitless is the grace between dreams."

--(I'm not quite sure of the source)

(p.s. I promise I'll start writing again soon...)